Saturday - Backsplash grout is sealed. So close to being done with it. Soon we'll be able to install the electrical cover plates and it'll finally look finished.
Sunday - Java, the sweet elixir of consciousness. Here's my recipe for 'Tornado Coffee': 1) Fill cup with coffee. 2) Stir rapidly. 3) Add half-n-half to outer edge of spinning coffee. Tornado Coffee! Wheeee! God, what happened to me?
Tuesday - The physical. I know why it's called that. It's physical proof that god hates us. I understand the doctor working his wife into the conversation. I did it, too. Because that is the gayest thing two straight guys can possibly do. Gawd crap, couldn't the prostate be located between your toes or something? Why does it have to be there? And what's with that frikkin' lube? Does he keep it in the freezer? And, while we're on the subject, am I alone in asking, 'What would be so wrong with hiring a nurse for that?' Maybe one with a whip and stiletto heels? Should be easy to find. They were everywhere on Halloween.
Wednesday - Doctor advised I lose some gut, so I'm on his 'Five-Bite Diet'. Skip breakfast. Five bites of anything for lunch. Five bites of anything for dinner. Worked for M. First three days are the hard part. 2nd day - Hungry but sticking to it.
Tennis. Down 5-3, came back and tied it. Then lost 6-5. Not bad considering my opponent is 2o years younger than me. Dinner. M is laughing at my five huge bites of noodles.
Thursday - Five-Bite Diet, Day 3. Dr. said this day would be the toughest, but he failed to mention that, 10 minutes after you 'five-bite' yourself a $7 meatball sub, the neighbors would offer your entire company a lobster lunch, absolutely free. I could only laugh when my coworker, carrying his big ol' lobster, said, 'Boy, it sucks to be you today!'
Friday - Five-Bite Diet, Day 4. Wasn't so bad. Little hungry at times, but nothing uncomfortable. Then to M's Christmas work party. Five-Bites, my ass. How do you stop at 'five' when there's a plate of sushi screaming at your face?
...to be continued...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment