Saturday - Juan should be here any minute to help me rip out the old iron drain pipes and install shiny new plastic ones. Also going to move the cleanout that pokes through the backyard and is guilty of dulling my lawnmower blade on more than one occasion.
M drove up and paid for the cabs. Juan called up sick; no plumbing 'til Monday. Wired sconce at back door and dining light switch. Rough electric is now finished. High five! Got most of the insulation up with M's help. I am reminded of a time when I was building a hotel in Palm Springs. This company had hired a bunch of illegals to work cheap. Turned out some of them were sleeping on the property. We were working in the attic one day and found a place where, yes, one of them had relieved himself. The bummer for us was having to work in disgusting conditions. The bummer for the culprit was, according to the evidence left at the scene, he didn't know the difference between toilet paper and fiberglass insulation. That was over twenty years ago. Wouldn't surprise me if he walked bowlegged to this day.
To John and Noriko's for dinner. Always a good time.
Sunday - Is there anything more frustrating than a slooow internet? Shopped for a dining light, found nothing. Why so hard to find a light? Then to Upright Citizen's Brigade to see Tad and team do improv. Great show. High Five Tad. Plumbing should be roughed in tomorrow. Cross fingers.
Monday - Again no Juan; got called in to work. Breathe iiiiiiin. Breathe out. Tomorrow for sure. Headache. Not good. Maybe wine will help.
Tuesday - Wrong turn down Frustration Road. Need to get back to the Get It Done Expressway. Could use a Garmin about now. So I could smash it and feel better.
Wednesday - How quickly things change. Stucco finished. Plumbing stubouts finished. Wall insulation finished. Houston, we are ready for drywall.
Thursday - Began patching the ceiling and drywalling the soffits. Ceiling most likely will not be perfect but will do the best I can. Juan should be here tomorrow to finish the plumbing. M invented a new dish: Sushi Casserole. O.k, so it's not new, but it might be the first time someone called it Sushi Casserole.
Friday - No Juan. Had to work again. Says he'll be here tomorrow. How's it even possible that I could be not the most important thing in a person's life? Any person. Astounding, really. Gonna begin more drywall now, but if Phil calls to meet for beers, I could be persuaded.
Barely got started on drywall when Phil called, making beer not an option. Hey it's Friday. Will attack drywall tomorrow. Now to Souplantation where the question remains: Just how much salad can one person eat?
... to be continued...
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Episode 9 - The Good, The Bad, And Jay Leno
Editor's note - It was in Episode 5 of this very log in which I raised the question, 'Could we fix the economy if we legalized pot?' Tonight, the following headline appeared on Yahoo: 'Can Marijuana Help Rescue California's Economy?' Apparently lawmakers are considering just exactly that. Ha! I suddenly feel strangely powerful! Let's try this now: Could we fix the economy if we give Ken and Michiyo a billion dollars? (It's worth a shot.)
Saturday - Completed all three soffits. Arms constantly tired. M says I should get a massage tonight, but I say a bottle of good tequila costs the same, puts you to sleep just as well, and is good for 15 to 20 uses.
Sunday - Into the attic again to install the A/C vent and range hood duct. Am I pissed at having to squeeze through a 14" soffit again and again or am I glad that, at 48, I still can?
Monday - Range hood wired; pendant light wired. Plumbing should be completed this weekend. Getting so close to drywall I can taste it!
Tuesday - I want to go to church this Sunday. I do. I want to go and I want to sit right in the middle of the room and halfway through the sermon I want to stand up, look around, and I want to ask everybody there a question. I want to ask why, with his own son a carpenter, why on stinking earth would the Almighty design the world in such a way so that when a guy is looking for a Phillips screwdriver there isn't a Phillips anywhere to be found. Oh sure, there's like fifty regular screwdrivers I don't need a regular screwdriver, I need a PHILLIPS! But the real kicker comes later, when the same frikking guy in the same frikking house needs a frikking regular screwdriver, -poof-... like frikking magic, 'Oh there's all the Phillips screwdrivers, right where I looked before, but where are the regular screwdrivers?' Nowhere to be frikking found! I need an answer. Or maybe I just need a prozac.
Wednesday - No kitchen tonight, but I did get to see Jay Leno's car collection today in a hangar at the Burbank Airport. Our company is doing his floors and I was able to walk through. It's an unbelievable collection, even better than the Peterson Car Museum here in L.A., and I only got to see one of the six buildings he owns that are full of cars. They wouldn't allow me to take any pics so, unfortunately I can't provide any proof I was there. Y'all will have to trust me (a tall order, I know!)
Saturday - Completed all three soffits. Arms constantly tired. M says I should get a massage tonight, but I say a bottle of good tequila costs the same, puts you to sleep just as well, and is good for 15 to 20 uses.
Sunday - Into the attic again to install the A/C vent and range hood duct. Am I pissed at having to squeeze through a 14" soffit again and again or am I glad that, at 48, I still can?
Monday - Range hood wired; pendant light wired. Plumbing should be completed this weekend. Getting so close to drywall I can taste it!
Tuesday - I want to go to church this Sunday. I do. I want to go and I want to sit right in the middle of the room and halfway through the sermon I want to stand up, look around, and I want to ask everybody there a question. I want to ask why, with his own son a carpenter, why on stinking earth would the Almighty design the world in such a way so that when a guy is looking for a Phillips screwdriver there isn't a Phillips anywhere to be found. Oh sure, there's like fifty regular screwdrivers I don't need a regular screwdriver, I need a PHILLIPS! But the real kicker comes later, when the same frikking guy in the same frikking house needs a frikking regular screwdriver, -poof-... like frikking magic, 'Oh there's all the Phillips screwdrivers, right where I looked before, but where are the regular screwdrivers?' Nowhere to be frikking found! I need an answer. Or maybe I just need a prozac.
Wednesday - No kitchen tonight, but I did get to see Jay Leno's car collection today in a hangar at the Burbank Airport. Our company is doing his floors and I was able to walk through. It's an unbelievable collection, even better than the Peterson Car Museum here in L.A., and I only got to see one of the six buildings he owns that are full of cars. They wouldn't allow me to take any pics so, unfortunately I can't provide any proof I was there. Y'all will have to trust me (a tall order, I know!)
Friday, March 13, 2009
Episode 8 - The Curious Case Of Juan And The Gas Line
Saturday - Saw Slumdog Millionaire last night. Excellent flick. Thank you Phil, for noting that, if we ever find ourselves locked in a toilet in a slum in Mumbai (because it could happen), that we now know how to get ourselves out. Who said movies have no educational value?
Finally remembered to bring the laser level home from work. One side of the kitchen is 7/8" higher than the other! Gotta adjust the heights of my electrical boxes.
Put up stucco paper. The window is now completely installed. Also figured out the scenario which initiated Juan's fib yesterday. Here's the scene: Entering the living room, I smelled gas; discovered the pilot in the floor heater was out. This could only happen if the gas had been turned off, which would extinguish the flame, and then turned back on, restarting the gas without the flame. Juan's nephew had dug a trench to the garage for the wiring. Along the way, he had to cross the old gas line that used to feed the dryer. I cut that line over a year ago due to a leak and we've been running the dryer off propane ever since. I failed to mention this fact to Juan beforehand. His nephew then broke the gas line and they decided, 'Better not tell Ken about this!'. They then turned off the gas, repaired it improperly (hence the lie), then turned the gas back on and didn't think to light the pilots! "Hey, Juan, did you turn off the gas?" "No" "Because the heater pilot is off and I smell gas in the living room." "No. We didn't touch the gas." Yeah right. I then told him the gas line was defunct, which, although he showed no reaction, must have been a huge relief! I know that feeling, when you've already lied, and then you find you're completely in the clear. You can't show your relief without also exposing your lie! It's a silver lining eclipsed by a cloud. Anyways, I felt bad for not clueing him in ahead of time so on Monday I won't mention to him that I noticed the valve on the gas meter had changed position, nor that the pilot on the water heater also was off! No harm, no foul, but, as a bad fibber, Juan better keep his day job because his career in politics is questionable.
Cheap wine and 'House Bunny' in my underwear. It's kind of fun being white trash. Maybe I'll tattoo my head.
Sunday - Sore! Off to see 'The Wrestler'.
Monday - Sheila has completely accepted our living conditions. I resent that my dog thinks we're white trash and is ok with it.
Wednesday - Re-started the soffits. Used Grandpa Archie's chalk line which was given to me by Uncle Orville.
Thursday - First soffit just one tiny piece from being finished but it's too late and the neighbors are too close to use power tools. I'll get it tomorrow (if I don't meet Phil for beers.)
Friday - Didn't meet Phil; didn't finish soffit. This is taking too long. Gonna hire people to get things moving.
... to be continued...
Finally remembered to bring the laser level home from work. One side of the kitchen is 7/8" higher than the other! Gotta adjust the heights of my electrical boxes.
Put up stucco paper. The window is now completely installed. Also figured out the scenario which initiated Juan's fib yesterday. Here's the scene: Entering the living room, I smelled gas; discovered the pilot in the floor heater was out. This could only happen if the gas had been turned off, which would extinguish the flame, and then turned back on, restarting the gas without the flame. Juan's nephew had dug a trench to the garage for the wiring. Along the way, he had to cross the old gas line that used to feed the dryer. I cut that line over a year ago due to a leak and we've been running the dryer off propane ever since. I failed to mention this fact to Juan beforehand. His nephew then broke the gas line and they decided, 'Better not tell Ken about this!'. They then turned off the gas, repaired it improperly (hence the lie), then turned the gas back on and didn't think to light the pilots! "Hey, Juan, did you turn off the gas?" "No" "Because the heater pilot is off and I smell gas in the living room." "No. We didn't touch the gas." Yeah right. I then told him the gas line was defunct, which, although he showed no reaction, must have been a huge relief! I know that feeling, when you've already lied, and then you find you're completely in the clear. You can't show your relief without also exposing your lie! It's a silver lining eclipsed by a cloud. Anyways, I felt bad for not clueing him in ahead of time so on Monday I won't mention to him that I noticed the valve on the gas meter had changed position, nor that the pilot on the water heater also was off! No harm, no foul, but, as a bad fibber, Juan better keep his day job because his career in politics is questionable.
Cheap wine and 'House Bunny' in my underwear. It's kind of fun being white trash. Maybe I'll tattoo my head.
Sunday - Sore! Off to see 'The Wrestler'.
Monday - Sheila has completely accepted our living conditions. I resent that my dog thinks we're white trash and is ok with it.
Wednesday - Re-started the soffits. Used Grandpa Archie's chalk line which was given to me by Uncle Orville.
Thursday - First soffit just one tiny piece from being finished but it's too late and the neighbors are too close to use power tools. I'll get it tomorrow (if I don't meet Phil for beers.)
Friday - Didn't meet Phil; didn't finish soffit. This is taking too long. Gonna hire people to get things moving.
... to be continued...
Friday, March 6, 2009
Episode 7 - Slumdogs Not Millionaires
Saturday AM - After pouring coffee and adding milk, it dawned on me that we haven't had any cereal in the house for some time. I know this because each morning for about the last six weeks or so, aside from the occasional doughnut when I have time to stop, I've been going to work without any breakfast. Donning my 'Sherlock Holmes' and considering for a moment that, cereal being the principle reason for milk being in the fridge, and the fact, my dear Watson, that I haven't had any cereal for about a month and a half, I decided, while stirring my coffee with my left hand, to bring the milk carton to my nose with my right for the purpose of subjecting it's contents to scientific scrutiny. The english language, for all it's color and dexterity, hasn't quite developed an adequate word to describe the violence that ones body must endure as a result of such an experiment. If, by chance, I ever find myself at some point to be commissioned by Webster's, or whomever, to coin such a word I think I might offer, 'hlaalk'; a verb, 'to hlaalk', pronounced 'hlaalk'; variation - hlaaaaaaaalk; the violent reaction that the human body must endure upon inhaling the putrid outgassing of six-week old milk. example: Ken, like an idiot, inhaled the putrid outgassing of six-week old milk and spent the next few moments 'hlaalking'. It is redundant to add phrases like, 'and wringing his face like a wet rag', or, 'and sweating through his eyeballs', since that would be inferred by the term 'hlaalking'.
Ok. Milk flushed. Done hlaalking. Let's go take a look at that window.
---
Progress! Window 90% installed. Gotta schedule the stucco guy. Could do it myself, but I've never done it before. How hard can it be?
Sunday - What is the freakin' point of nose hairs? M is at Target exchanging a digital camera for cereal. Hopefully she'll remember we need milk. I'll get started on the 3-way switch which will finally allow us to turn on the lights when we enter at the back door, a feature that, apparently in the '40's. was regarded as an unnecessary luxury.
3-way switch finished. Off to Little Tokyo again with Phil. Love that spicy ramen. Upon our return, I will enter at the back door, turn on the lights, and feel superior to people who lived in the '40's.
---
Wow! 99 cent beers in Little Tokyo! I feel superior to everybody! Now that's how you do Happy Hour! For some reason M insisted on driving home. Women.
Monday - More rain. Tarped over the hole in the wall formerly occupied by the larger window. Gotta get that stucco finished. Started the soffit.
Tuesday - Juan from work came by. He's going to install a sub-panel in the garage on Thursday. Gonna have 220 for my table saw! And, as a bonus, we'll be able to get rid of the extension cord plugged into the kitchen that has powered our garage for the last four years.
Wednesday - Minor stuff.
Thursday - No Juan. Only rain.
Friday - Juan and his nephew installed the box in the garage. All I have to do is wire some plugs for the laundry and some tools, including the jealosy-inspiring 220 for the table saw. Shwing! Power to the garage is now underground. One doesn't completely realize just how unsightly those overhead wires are until they are removed. Double Shwing!
Homemade sushi... on paper plates... at the dining table in the living room!
... to be continued...
Ok. Milk flushed. Done hlaalking. Let's go take a look at that window.
---
Progress! Window 90% installed. Gotta schedule the stucco guy. Could do it myself, but I've never done it before. How hard can it be?
Sunday - What is the freakin' point of nose hairs? M is at Target exchanging a digital camera for cereal. Hopefully she'll remember we need milk. I'll get started on the 3-way switch which will finally allow us to turn on the lights when we enter at the back door, a feature that, apparently in the '40's. was regarded as an unnecessary luxury.
3-way switch finished. Off to Little Tokyo again with Phil. Love that spicy ramen. Upon our return, I will enter at the back door, turn on the lights, and feel superior to people who lived in the '40's.
---
Wow! 99 cent beers in Little Tokyo! I feel superior to everybody! Now that's how you do Happy Hour! For some reason M insisted on driving home. Women.
Monday - More rain. Tarped over the hole in the wall formerly occupied by the larger window. Gotta get that stucco finished. Started the soffit.
Tuesday - Juan from work came by. He's going to install a sub-panel in the garage on Thursday. Gonna have 220 for my table saw! And, as a bonus, we'll be able to get rid of the extension cord plugged into the kitchen that has powered our garage for the last four years.
Wednesday - Minor stuff.
Thursday - No Juan. Only rain.
Friday - Juan and his nephew installed the box in the garage. All I have to do is wire some plugs for the laundry and some tools, including the jealosy-inspiring 220 for the table saw. Shwing! Power to the garage is now underground. One doesn't completely realize just how unsightly those overhead wires are until they are removed. Double Shwing!
Homemade sushi... on paper plates... at the dining table in the living room!
... to be continued...
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