Saturday - Dragged myself out of bed at 7:AM, freeezing, and for what? Class is canceled because the courts are soaked from the rain so, no tennis today.
Sunday - Day of football as the NFC and AFC champions will be decided today. In three days, M returns home after two weeks in Japan. Not that I'm trying to make a point but, since she left, I have not had to open a new roll of toilet paper.
Wednesday - Thinking about starting an advice column for married men. The following would make a nice first suggestion: Guys, do not immediately apologize upon arriving an hour late to pick up your wife from the airport. Allow her to comment first because chances are she was held up in Customs anyways and only got out to the street just before your first trip through Arrivals! If that's the case, she will actually apologize to you! And don't worry about her discovering the truth in your blog because, by that time, she will have already made you a fantastic dinner to make up for it!
First tennis practice after the rains felt great! Especially when returning a near impossible overhand slam from the net that everyone thought was a winner! Ha! I'll take that point, thank you, and next time don't turn your back because you thought the point was over! Suckas!
... to be continued...
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Episode 41 - Rain, Man
Saturday - Brought my new tennis racket today to match #2 feeling good and with high hopes. The word 'Lost' doesn't quite convey the degree of humiliation my partner and I suffered at the hands of our opponents. Picture instead God's giant thumb pressing down onto both of us and, after smashing us into the asphalt, instead of merely lifting itself off, leaving us in a heap, rather, scraping itself sideways while maintaining it's crushing pressure, leaving behind a long greasy smear on the court. Yeah... That's about how it was. The score? 1-6, 0-6. Thanks to our other two doubles teams winning their matches, our team actually won the match. No thanks to us. Played Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and twice today, and cripe does my body feel it. Now I know why old people move the way they do: because it hurts!
Monday - Storms coming. Set a bucket on the patio and got just shy of 3 inches of rain in one day.
Tuesday - RAAAAIN! We're up to almost 4 inches now.
Wednesday - Why is it when your wife leaves town for two weeks, every woman that walks into your line of sight is smokin' hot? Gawd crap, man. Further proof the almighty hates us.
Thursday - More rain. Then hail. And more rain. Did I say 'Hail'? Is this frikkin' L.A. or, what the... ? Rocks the size of peas are falling from the sky. In L.A.!! Maybe those predicting the end of the world in 2012 aren't such idiots after all. Chips and salsa wasn't enough so I had bratwurst and beer for dinner at the bar. Miss M's cooking. Over 6 inches of rain so far.
Friday - Body is saying, 'Thank you!'. Haven't played tennis all week, thanks to the rain. Grand total for the week? 7-3/4 inches. The new stucco is getting tested.
... to be continued...
Monday - Storms coming. Set a bucket on the patio and got just shy of 3 inches of rain in one day.
Tuesday - RAAAAIN! We're up to almost 4 inches now.
Wednesday - Why is it when your wife leaves town for two weeks, every woman that walks into your line of sight is smokin' hot? Gawd crap, man. Further proof the almighty hates us.
Thursday - More rain. Then hail. And more rain. Did I say 'Hail'? Is this frikkin' L.A. or, what the... ? Rocks the size of peas are falling from the sky. In L.A.!! Maybe those predicting the end of the world in 2012 aren't such idiots after all. Chips and salsa wasn't enough so I had bratwurst and beer for dinner at the bar. Miss M's cooking. Over 6 inches of rain so far.
Friday - Body is saying, 'Thank you!'. Haven't played tennis all week, thanks to the rain. Grand total for the week? 7-3/4 inches. The new stucco is getting tested.
... to be continued...
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Episode 40 - The Tennis Player
Saturday -Here's a tip for you young married guys: When your wife comes home one day and announces her intention to begin some new activity like, oh, let's say tennis, for instance... just let her take classes on her own and be happy that she has a hobby. Do NOT take classes with her because the coach will only lock you into a weekly tennis game on Thursdays, you'll have tennis class early Saturday, you'll have to join a team which practices on Wednesdays and plays on Sundays for which you'll need to pay for a drills class which meets on Saturdays after your regular class. Before you know it, your dog won't recognize you, and your wife... remember her?, the one who started the whole thing?... the minute you make all these commitments, she will announce that 7:30 is too early to get out of bed for class and she's done.
Sunday - Match Day. Arrived early to warm up. Felt good. Then came the other teams to begin their warm-up. They're not so intimidating. Ok. M scoped 'em out and picked the very worst-looking team, a couple of old farts who hit the ball like they were afraid they might damage it. 'I hope you play those two because they're really bad!' Well, M got her wish! We did play those two... and they killed us! 2-6, 3-6. Gaaawd! What am I doing on a team?
Tuesday - Played with a loaner racket from the local Pro Shop. A good one. Whoa! Maybe I'm not so bad. Maybe my problem is that I'm too cheap! Now I know what dad's christmas money's gonna buy.
Wednesday - M left this morning for two weeks dictating tonight's dinner: a Jalapeno Six-Dollar Burger. Took my loaner racket to practice, eager to show the team how much better I've gotten since last week. It made no difference whatsoever. Not one team I have played on yet has won a single set! I'm not embarrassed... but I'm wondering if I should be!
Thursday - Well, it turns out that all is not completely hopeless as I finally won a set at practice... sort of... my partner was Keiko who never loses. Match #2 on Saturday against some rocket scientists from JPL. I'm hoping that, by the time they calculate the trajectories of our serves the ball will be past them.
Friday - Watch out JPL because Mr. Ken's got a new racket!
... to be continued...
Sunday - Match Day. Arrived early to warm up. Felt good. Then came the other teams to begin their warm-up. They're not so intimidating. Ok. M scoped 'em out and picked the very worst-looking team, a couple of old farts who hit the ball like they were afraid they might damage it. 'I hope you play those two because they're really bad!' Well, M got her wish! We did play those two... and they killed us! 2-6, 3-6. Gaaawd! What am I doing on a team?
Tuesday - Played with a loaner racket from the local Pro Shop. A good one. Whoa! Maybe I'm not so bad. Maybe my problem is that I'm too cheap! Now I know what dad's christmas money's gonna buy.
Wednesday - M left this morning for two weeks dictating tonight's dinner: a Jalapeno Six-Dollar Burger. Took my loaner racket to practice, eager to show the team how much better I've gotten since last week. It made no difference whatsoever. Not one team I have played on yet has won a single set! I'm not embarrassed... but I'm wondering if I should be!
Thursday - Well, it turns out that all is not completely hopeless as I finally won a set at practice... sort of... my partner was Keiko who never loses. Match #2 on Saturday against some rocket scientists from JPL. I'm hoping that, by the time they calculate the trajectories of our serves the ball will be past them.
Friday - Watch out JPL because Mr. Ken's got a new racket!
... to be continued...
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Episode 39 - His Burger Friday
Saturday - Tennis practice for my first USTA game which is one week from today. What in hell was I thinking joining a team? Frikkin' Keiko, tellin' me to sign up, 'You're good enough. Don't worry.' I can't even hit the ball over the net. Gawd. This is going to be embarrassing...
Sunday - Finished The Goblet of Fire. Now I'll start Book 5, The Order of the Phoenix. Anything to take my mind off frikkin' tennis. Frikkin' Keiko.
Monday - I swear, if the object of tennis was to hit the very top edge of the net without going over, I could be world champion. First match in five days. Frikkin' Keiko.
Wednesday - First match is actually on Sunday, not Saturday as previously thought. That gives me Thursday to learn how to hold the racket, Friday to learn how to hit the ball, and Saturday to learn the finer points of strategy. Ok, at least now I have a plan. Frikkin' Keiko.
Friday - Sore throat, runny nose. Crap. First match in two days. M leaves for Japan Wednesday morning, which means I'm probably gonna get tired of eating six-dollar jalapeno burgers sometime around next Friday.
...to be continued...
Sunday - Finished The Goblet of Fire. Now I'll start Book 5, The Order of the Phoenix. Anything to take my mind off frikkin' tennis. Frikkin' Keiko.
Monday - I swear, if the object of tennis was to hit the very top edge of the net without going over, I could be world champion. First match in five days. Frikkin' Keiko.
Wednesday - First match is actually on Sunday, not Saturday as previously thought. That gives me Thursday to learn how to hold the racket, Friday to learn how to hit the ball, and Saturday to learn the finer points of strategy. Ok, at least now I have a plan. Frikkin' Keiko.
Friday - Sore throat, runny nose. Crap. First match in two days. M leaves for Japan Wednesday morning, which means I'm probably gonna get tired of eating six-dollar jalapeno burgers sometime around next Friday.
...to be continued...
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