Episode 49 - Enemy Mine Coffee

I love L.A. Where else can you go when you want to see a guy drive down the freeway, on a motorcycle, in between the lanes (you know how they do), with no hands! I watched that idiot smash someone's mirror and drive off.

M drilled me on baseline shots tonight. I paid her back by drilling her with a nasty backhand right to the boob! Twice! Oops! Sorry, baby! - 'Can you try to not hit me?'

Wow! ROUGH Saturday morning. M met a friend for dinner last night so, for me, that meant bar-hopping with Phil. Woke up feeling like crap and after half a cup of coffee I puked my guts out. I really should think about giving up coffee.

Episode 48 - Return of the Nerd

Busted my glasses last night in bed. In two perfectly equal halves. Super glue is holding, but not cleanly; it's lumpy, the joint is offset and it's completely obvious... My nerdness is now complete. I am standing, upright and tall, on the topmost rung on the ladder of geekdom. I reign over my kingdom and I see that it is g...





AAAAaaaahhh! Even as I am writing this I remove my glasses from my face to see just how dorky they look... and dropped them, breaking them again! Gawd craaap! More glue, bigger offset, lumpier joint... Even as I think I've reached the height of the ladder of geekdom, yet there is another rung to climb... and so climb I do. My dweebness knows no bounds.



Finally figured out how to get M to bed before midnight: put her through tennis drills for 2 hours saturday morning, then play tennis saturday evening. Team practice for 3 hours sunday morning and then top it off with more drills and rallying sunday evening. It's not even 10:30 and she's already in bed! Feels like I'm gonna be sore in the morning.


Our oranges are fantastic this year. We've been turning them into juice. During the 'Guy's Choice Awards' tonight M asks, 'Do you want some OJ?' I show her my glass and say, 'I already have some.' I didn't mention that there were two shots of tequila in it. I've had that bottle of tequila for a year now and it's only half empty. Clearly, I need to drink more.

... to be continued...

Episode 47 - Eating Girl

Saturday - M has names for some of the other women in Turbo Kick class. After a whole year, 'Eating Girl' hasn't lost any weight at all. M- 'She's unbelievable. She eats during the class!'









There's something wrong when a guy gets his arse whipped by his 5'2", 105 lb wife in tennis. There's something right when, after an arse whipping, a guy finds three cold beers sitting in the fridge. Ahhh. Tomorrow is our final class before signing up for the next session. We like this coach but he teaches on courts with no shade. Better have another beer before deciding. Life's sticky decisions always glide easier when lubricated with beer.







Sunday - Scary moment playing tennis when M fell over backwards and hit her head. I insisted on taking her and her grapefruit-sized lump to the ER. Not out of concern for her health so much as now she can no longer make fun of my tennis/ER trip back in February. Take that!






Monday - I'm very conflicted right now. The doctor gave me a list and I'm supposed to be watching M for any signs of brain injury. One item is 'Change in personality/behavior.' Well, tonight after dinner she said, 'I want wine.' Wha... ? She never wants wine. So my choices are: 1) Take her back to the ER and describe this sudden change in behavior; or 2) Go get some wine and hope this sticks... 2 it is... Riesling... She digs it... Yes!!





Tuesday - Seems M will survive her brain injury so I won't be going to Japan to get me another one.



Wednesday - M joined a tennis team. Soon it'll be my turn to complain about the amount of time she spends at tennis.



Thursday - A stressful night at the pub as the Lakers went down by 13... twice... before narrowly defeating Boston in game 7 for the championship. Sweet. M arrives late, squeezes through the crowd, giving the rubberneckers something to do, then puts her arms around me. Sweet. Some guy gave M a string of beads. She took 'em but I explained that she would not be reciprocating in the standard festive way.