Episode 32 - Oklaho-what?

Saturday - Got two things in tennis class today: a new doubles partner, and our asses handed to us by Ricardo and Lydia. We'll get 'em next time.



Sunday - For two weeks we've had Tipsy while Phil was in Ireland. He returned today and took Tipsy with him. Aahhh. A day without Tipsy is like a day without getting your balls repeatedly jumped on while reading Harry Potter on the couch. A hearty 'thank you' to Phil for the Irish whiskey but don't expect any tequila from mexico because bringing alcohol onto the boat 'no esta permitido'.




Leaving Sunday on a 7-day cruise to Mexico for our 10-year anniversary. Sheila can stay at Phil's and jump on his balls for a change. Payback is a 65 pound bitch.



Tuesday - According to the commercial, the new Reeboks will give ladies an ass just like the ass on the zero-size lingerie model in the ad. So I ask, 'If they're so confident about that, why isn't Reebok also selling zero-size lingerie?'




Wednesday - Email from Jim and Kari: 'We've moved to Oklahoma!' Got it, ya buncha hicks! Do they have jacuzzis over there or do they just put an old bathtub on sawhorses and light a fire under it? Maybe you can send pictures from your neighborhood. You know, stuff like motorcycles built out of 2 x 4's, car's with stop signs embedded in their grills, stuff like that. I want to see a christmas card that shows y'all in jeans and t-shirts out in the yard with cigarettes in your mouths pointing shotguns at the camera. 'Merry Christmas from Oklahoma!, Now get off our land!' (Kari should be in a plaid bathrobe with her hair in curlers.) But seriously, we would drive out there to visit but I'm afraid your neighbors, never having seen one before, may try to feed the car. I give it a year!




Thursday - Finished the window trim and tiled the sills. If I don't get any work I could actually grout the backsplash before our cruise on Sunday.





Friday - Laundry. Underwear. How do women wear these things? Is this the leg? the waist? How can anybody frikkin' tell? They look good but I know there are women out there wearing these damn things crooked because they can't tell which way is up either.

... to be continued...