Killing a Level 3 zombie, or
'offing', is not difficult. Level 2s are curable so offing them is banned
by law but Level 3s are incurable and offing them is encouraged. A Level
3 will actually die on their own eventually; it's science fiction that
they live until they are violently terminated. In a way, Level 3s are
like any other organism; they are created, they multiply, and they
eventually die. It just goes about those things in a slightly different
fashion.
In their pursuit of survival, a
Level 3, like other life forms, requires energy to function and, since they are
animal by nature, that source of energy is food - chewed, swallowed, and
digested. A Level 3 still possesses the desire to eat; it can bite off
chunks of flesh and it can chew. The problem is that it no longer has the
ability to swallow. A Level 3 cannot, therefore, get the meat it chews into its
stomach for digestion. It cannot get nourishment, and its body, devoid of
sustenance, consumes itself internally until it runs out of energy and
starves. The interesting thing is that, for reasons unknown, the time
required for a Level 3 to starve to death can be much longer than that for an
uninfected person. Most zombies continue 'motoring', as they say, for two
or three weeks before they drop, a period of time that is not radically different
from a starving uninfected person. But some Level 3s motor much longer
than that. Being a novel and infectious disease, it is mostly unstudied
by scientists, and it has yet to be confirmed just how long it is possible for
a Level 3 to continue motoring. I've seen reports, however, that are
disturbing, and I'll leave it at that. There is also strong evidence that
Level 3s in groups tend to motor longer than those who go solo. And the
larger the group, the longer they motor. Somehow, apparently, they
are able to conserve energy when they band together, allowing them to motor for
much longer periods of time. This is what propagated the myth that
zombies live forever unless pro-actively killed. It’s not true. It might make for a good movie or book, but
it's nonsense; a zombie will die eventually.
What is not nonsense is that before
they die Level 3s are a danger to the public. Like a hungry wild animal,
they are hunters and will attack anything that moves and try to eat it. Plus,
they are highly contagious upon physical contact.
So they must be eliminated.
When police departments are
overwhelmed, the responsibility of offing a 3 falls to the public.
Citizens are allowed to protect themselves, their families, their property,
pets, and their neighborhoods. Even so, the public is encouraged to call
the Zombie Response Team of the local police department and let them handle it
for you. If the ZRT is unable to respond, or if it's an emergency, then
it’s up to the public to take care of it.
As I mentioned before, offing a Level
3 is not difficult but to do it safely and legally, training is required.
It’s not much, but it’s required. Any
person over 25 who can demonstrate basic physical criteria is allowed to attend
'offing training', which is nothing more than an 8-hour class given by the
local Zombie Response Team, teaching people how to get the job done.
There isn't a whole lot to offing a 3 but there are precautions to be
taken as the sudden and spastic bodily movements can be unpredictable. Basically,
you cut off their head, but more on that later.
As for the virus that causes the
infection, very little is proven, but doctors have made certain assumptions
based on their knowledge of viruses. It appears the virus enters through
all openings in the body: eyes, ears, nose, mouth, and yep, down there,
too. Once the virus gets in, it enters the bloodstream and attacks the
respiratory system and the brain, causing flu-like symptoms, confusion, and odd
behavior. At that stage the infection is considered a Level 2 and, while
it's contagious, it is still curable. If left untreated, the virus
decimates the cerebrum, leaving the person without a conscious and a shell of
their former self. At the same time the brain is being turned into mush,
the virus moves from the lungs upward through the throat and nasal passages and
concentrates, among other places, in the inner ears, where a human's balance
organs are. This leaves a Level 3 with impaired equilibrium. A 3 can still walk, but it’s awkward and he is left with an inability to turn around quickly. This reduced
ability to turn around creates a prime opportunity for offing him: the safest
way is to approach him from behind and, with a swift and forceful diagonal
slice to the neck with a sharp sword, remove the fucker's head.
But, that's where things can get
sticky; if the sword-handler fumbles their first attempt, they have to back
away and try again. That can be tricky, as a full-blown Level 3 is
unpredictable and, though they are slow to turn around, they can still lurch
backwards fairly quickly. If they’re caught off-guard, and if physical
contact is made, then the swordsman will become infected, too, and they'll need
to get treatment pronto. Worse, if the Level 3, manages to grab hold of
his attacker, it can be lights out. Even when severely wounded, a Level 3
often maintains the ability to grip, tear, bite, gouge, peel, and chew.
And you don't want to merely piss them off. You got to finish them. And in most situations decapping works best.
Decapping is not the only way to
off a 3. The easiest way is by simply shooting them in the head from a
distance, but the law regards that as hunting and, according to the law, firing
guns inside city limits, even when offing zombies, remains exclusively the
option of the police and is only allowed if they enter your residence. Crushing
a 3 with a vehicle is another effective method, but that results in a damaged
vehicle and a contagious mess that no right-thinking person is willing to clean
up, no matter how much money you offer them. Another way is to light them
on fire with a flamethrower. This is often the preferred method when the
zombie is in the open, as it both kills the zombie and disinfects the remains
at the same time, making for a safer cleanup. However, zombies, being
equilibriously-challenged, are often found holding on to objects such as trees,
cars, houses and food sources like people and so hitting them with a
flame-thrower is usually out of the question as it can damage property and kill
people. Two years ago in a northern county, a flame-thrower was used on a
Level 3 holding onto an electrical tower. The drought that year had left
the vegetation dry and the grass caught fire. It spread to some nearby
woods and ended up destroying 150,000 acres and an entire town. The guy succeeded in killing the 3. But he
learned the hard way that flame throwers should not be used on dry grass.
As it turns out, the most practical
method for offing a Level 3 is decapping with a Japanese katana sword. With its
hardened steel, curved shape, and precisely sharpened edge, the katana is
well-suited for removing heads and is the best-known device for offing. Using
the katana to remove a head is pretty simple, it requires just a little bit of technique,
and that’s why people take the training.
We’ve been lucky so far in that
large groups of Level 3s have not yet been seen in our area. Across the nation
and the world the numbers are rising, though, and ZRT offing-training classes
are booked. While Level 3 numbers remain relatively low, hospitals are
being inundated and overwhelmed with high numbers of Level 2s. If hospitals
run out of equipment to treat the 2s, then the 2s will become 3s and the
problems will get worse. RV parks and
sports stadiums are being re-purposed as isolation and quarantine encampments
to treat and monitor the Level 2s. Healthcare workers are pleading to
other industries to donate any extra face masks and surgical gloves they might
have. In an attempt to stem the rate of infection, the governors of
eight states have ordered their citizens to remain at home for an entire month,
maybe longer. That’s one third of the entire population.
All those people. Holed up
for a month. With nothing but Netflix. Mm, hmm.
It is now the beginning of
spring. We better hope the contagion is over by New Years or the
hospitals won’t have enough room to deliver all those babies.
Be safe out there. The
zombies and the babies are coming.
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